2023 Survey

Hello and Happy New Year! I opened Feedly for the first time in awhile this morning and saw my friend Lisa did her annual survey, so I thought I’d join in and do it too.

2023 was a pretty crappy year for me, but hopefully doing this survey helps me reflect on some of the good that also happened.

1) What did you do in 2023 that you’ve never done before? Separated from my ex-husband and began only having my kids 50% of the time (though in all honesty because of my more flexible job and how our schedules work it’s probably more of a 60/40 split overall).

2) Did anyone close to you give birth? I can’t think of anyone! My best friend had a baby late 2022.

3) Did anyone close to you die? My beloved maternal Grandmother took her last breath on October 15 at 12:55am. The hardest loss I’ve ever faced. She was fine a year ago. She was fine 6 months ago. Her illness was diagnosed and then took her within 2.5 months. 3 months before she passed we were all camping at the lake together.

I am still grieving so much from this loss and miss her every day.

4) What places did you visit?

• In April, I went on a girls trip to Sparkling Hill Resort, near Vernon BC with five other local mom friends
• In July, the kids and I joined my mom on a trip to Blind Bay, BC to visit my brother
• In August, I visited Banff and Canmore with my good friend Lisa!
• The kids and I went on several camping trips with family.

5) What would you like to have in 2024 that you didn’t have in 2023? More good things. More happiness. Less heartbreak.

6) What dates from 2023 will be etched in your memory forever?

• The day I knew it was time to end my marriage.
• 4 days after that, when we found out my Grandma had a mass on her lung.
• Olivia’s first day of school – a positive memory!
• The day my ex husband moved out.
• The last real conversation/time I spent with my Grandma, which at the time I didn’t realize she would decline so quickly. This was a week before she passed.
• The weekend my Grandma passed away. I was with her at the hospital as much as I could be. I went home to sleep 2 hours before she took her last breath and I regret not being there for that.

7) What was your biggest achievement this year? Literally surviving. It was such a hard year and some days it was actually waking up and putting one foot in front of the other that was my biggest achievement.

8) What was your biggest failure? Oh god I don’t know if I really had any failures this year. I have a few regrets over how I handled things in very intensely emotional times… however, I’m not sure that can be considered a failure as so many things were coming at me at one time, it was very stressful and I think I just did the best I could.

9) Did you suffer from illness or injury? We have been sick a lot this fall. At the end of November I had strep throat, and it was the sickest I have been in years. My throat swelled up so much I could barely swallow my own saliva and I had to get a steroid shot to help with the swelling and take T3’s to help with the pain!

10) What was the best thing you bought? Definitely Bridget Casey’s Six Figure Stock Portfolio course. I have been following her for about a year now and her content has really influenced my thoughts about finances and saving for retirement. I also feel like my retirement savings is more in my control now that I’m managing it myself via Wealthsimple.

11) Where did most of your money go? Thanks to the You Need a Budget app I can actually look and see where I spent the most money! Housing costs (mortgage, taxes, insurance etc.) were the highest at 37%, followed by Groceries & Food at 13.1% (oy the high cost of food over the last year is so dang depressing) followed by Savings & Retirement at 12%! I am feeling pretty good about these numbers as I did really ramp up my savings last year.

12) What did you get really, really excited about? I had two amazing girls trips last year which really really filled my bucket. In April I went to Sparkling Hills Resort with five of my closest local mom friends and it was an AMAZING weekend. Then in August I spent 3 days in Canmore and Banff with Lisa and that was also an incredible bucket filling trip. I was going through a really hard time on that trip and am very grateful for Lisa’s calming presence 🙂

13) What authors did you discover in 2023? I will echo Lisa and say Maggie Smith (You Could Make This Place Beautiful) as that book really impacted me and I am anxious to read more by her now.

14) What do you wish you had done more of? I can’t help but wish for more time with my grandmother. I know that there was no way to know our time together would be cut short and I did spend quite a bit of time with her, but you always want more, right? I wish I’d went to her house every weekend instead of every third or fourth weekend. I wish I’d been with her more at the end. It’s just such a stark reminder to spend as much time with those who mean the most to us as we can.

15) What do you wish you had done less of? Crying and screaming.

16) How did your spend Christmas? We had my family celebration at my mom’s on Christmas Eve, the kids and I had just recovered from a bad respiratory cold. Then Christmas Morning was quiet and the kids and I were at my house and I invited their dad over to join us for opening presents. After that my mom came over and we had breakfast and at noon the kids went to their dads. I took the dog for an hour long hike in the trails, which was really lovely and head clearing and then went to my ex’s house to have Christmas dinner with him and the kids. It was a low key Christmas but the best it could be considering the circumstances.

17) What was your favorite TV program? I rewatched Ted Lasso seasons 1&2 and then watched season 3 (love that show!) and towards the end of the year I started rewatching early 2000’s teen drama show, One Tree Hill. Season 2 of Firefly Lane was also very good and made me ugly cry.

18) What did you want and get? I wanted to move forward in my career and I did that. I will be starting a new job in two weeks that is a huge step up for me both in salary and responsibility!

19) What did you want and not get? I’m sorry to sound like a broken record, but the main thing I wanted that I did not get was for my Grandma to be okay.

20) What was your favorite film of 2023? I don’t really watch a lot of movies and none of them are standing out in my mind for 2023. The most recent movie I watched was Secret: Dare to Dream and it was pretty good!

21) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 35 on September 9th and I rented the local spin studio and invited all my friends for a private class there. Afterwards we had mimosas and donuts. It was a great birthday and a bright spot in the middle of an incredibly tough time.

22) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Broken record over here, but my Grandma not getting sick…

23) Who kept you sane? Without a doubt, my friends. I had the most incredible friends near and far reaching out to me, checking in on me and sending me wonderful surprises in the mail. They were my rocks and I would not have gotten through the last few months without them.

24) Who did you miss? The first half of the year I was still grieving my Grandpa, who passed 18 months to the day before we lost my Grandma. Then of course the second half of the year I missed my Grandma – even before she passed, she was so so ill, I missed who she was.

25) Who was the best new person you met? I actually met her in September of 2022 but we became much better friends in 2023 and that’s my friend Christine. She’s one of the people who has really been there for me, especially through my separation!

26) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023. We can do hard things.

27) Show us one of your favorite photos from the year. 

This photo of my kids with my Grandma on our last camping trip at the beginning of July. This was taken about 3 weeks before she got sick and 3 months before she passed away.

Sorry if my survey was a bit depressing, honestly 2023 was VERY VERY difficult for me. I just hope 2024 is better. I would love it if it would be a great year, but I will settle for better and not as heartbreaking as 2023!

How was 2023 for you?

Big changes coming

I think based on the few posts I’ve written over the last few months, it’s obvious that a lot of change has happened in my life. In June 2023 I was cruising along (so I thought). My marriage wasn’t great, but I had high hopes of it getting better once the kids got a bit older and was actively putting effort into improving it. My family was healthy (or so I thought) and work was going well.

By August 2023, it had all shifted. I discovered texts on my now ex-husband’s phone that made it clear he was having an emotional affair and it was the catalyst to me ending my marriage (though now in hindsight there were so many more things wrong than just this) and my just-turned-79-year-old Grandma had been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that had already spread to her bones.

Now as we approach the end of the year, it’s been two months since we lost my Grandma and I still think about her – and cry about the loss of her – daily. It’s also been 2.5 months since my now ex-husband moved out of our family home and we began sharing our kids 50/50 and coparenting. Between end of July 2023 and now there has been so many tears, so much stress, so much chaos and so much upheaval to mine and my kid’s life. It has been such a hard year. I sometimes feel like I have, or will have, PTSD from it all.

And in the last week, more big shifts have happened, though these ones appear to be good ones -or at least I hope they will be. Last Friday I received a job offer that was too good to pass up (and was also a very, very significant pay increase) and this week I gave my notice at work and told all my coworkers, which was not an easy thing to do. I have been at my job for almost five years and I truly do love it. I work with great people, do interesting and fun work and have a lot of flexibility and autonomy. Unfortunately, since it’s a non-profit, the pay also isn’t great and as a newly single income household in an economy where everything has double or tripled in cost I had to look out for myself in this instance.

So 2024 will be the first new year I’ve entered without my Grandma (I can barely even write that without tearing up), the first new year I’ve entered without my ex-husband who I spent the previous 18 new years with and just two short weeks into the new year I will start a new job at a new company and in a new industry.

They say bad things happen in three’s and I’ve honestly been waiting for that third shoe to drop since everything happened congruently with my marriage and Grandma. Now I’m wondering if the figurative third shoe is changing jobs. While not bad or negative thing, it was a very hard and difficult decision to make and also felt heart wrenching to give my notice (I cried, only the second time I’ve ever cried when giving notice at a job). It feels big and scary. Even though it is overall a positive thing, I really hope it is that third shoe as I don’t think I can handle anymore bad or negative in my life right now.

I have this feeling deep inside me that life is about to pivot and everything shitty that happened in 2023 was catalyst to big changes to come. I am not the same person I was a year ago. Not even close. As hard as it is, I am doing my best to remain hopeful for better things ahead.

Given my current track record, it’s unlikely I will post again before the New Year. So I will take this opportunity to offer the four or five readers I have a wonderful holiday season and a Happy New Year.

Life lately

Somehow I took another month off of posting. Life is chugging along at breakneck speeds. We are adjusting to our new normal of the kids spending a week at Eric’s and a week with me. We both see the kids almost daily on the week they are at the opposite parents and the kids have been very resilient and are adjusting well.

Last Friday was Olivia’s 6th birthday and I hosted a Barbie themed birthday party at my house yesterday. Even though it was Eric’s weekend he was okay with me hosting the party and he kept Aiden as it would have been very difficult to host with him around!

I actually really enjoy hosting so this was fun while also being A LOT of work! Ha! It actually worked well I hosted on a weekend I didn’t have the kids as it gave me extra time to do all the prep and clean up without the kids being around.

Then this morning I put up my tree. Last year I started a new tradition where I put up the tree after Olivia’s birthday but we don’t decorate it until December 1. I quite enjoy a few days with just the twinkling lights.

Truthfully, I’m having a really hard time getting in the spirit this year. It’s been about 6 weeks now since we lost my grandma and while that initial intense grief has subsided it’s still very difficult to think about having Christmas without her. She was a very big part of the holidays for me, both growing up and as an adult.

And, while overall I am very happy with our separation and how it’s going – and also feeling very confident it was the right choice – I of course am feeling sad and blah about not being a “typical” family of 4 through the holiday season.

We will see if the motivation hits to post more often or not going forward. Happy almost December!

Are you looking forward to the holidays this year?

What. A. Month.

Well, hello there. I last left off with my “divorce diary” from week 1 of coparenting and since then 3 more weeks and A LOT has happened.

Week 2 of coparenting, which was supposed to be a week of the kids being at their dads, went completely out the window as my ex ended up in the emergency room three times that week for extremely high blood pressure. Because of this, the kids basically ended up being with me or my mom that entire week.

At the end of that week, on October 15, 2023 my grandmother took her last breath. Exactly, to the day, 18 months after we lost my grandpa. I was at her bedside most of the day and up until two hours before she passed. The following week I was mostly in a fog. I’ve never felt that intense level of grief before. I still often have moments where I can’t believe she’s gone. I miss her so much.

Then, finally, this past week the kids had a full seven day week at their dads. I still saw them and/or FaceTimed with them almost every day. I filled my time by getting some good sleep, going to workout classes, cleaning and organizing the house. The basement was in dire need of cleaning and I had been ignoring it all month. I finally doubled down and got it organized yesterday and I’m super happy with how it turned out.

Before

After

That dresser is from my grandma’s house and over 40 years old ❤️❤️

Before

After

After

And now I’m preparing to get my kids back this evening for another week with me. A week that includes Halloween and all the busyness associated with that.

Honestly, October 2023 has been one of the hardest / worst months of my life. I’m looking forward to leaving this month behind and hopefully getting into somewhat of a new routine of coparenting and only having my kids 50% of the time.

Also hopefully that means I’ll be back in this space more regularly again as I was just getting in a good groove with blogging again when everything went nuts.

Happy, almost, November!

Divorce Diary: Week 1

Well the first week of Eric and I being in separate houses is coming to an end and I drop the kids off at their dad’s for a week starting this evening.

Here’s a recap of my first week of single parenthood. Spoiler alert: it honestly didn’t feel that out of the ordinary for me. I think if you have a perfectly equitable and content split of the child/home duties, you likely aren’t going to separate and I definitely have always taken on a much larger load with the kids and at home. Add onto this already less than equitable split, Eric doing shift work for years including 14 nights straight of night shift and I’ve done A LOT of solo parenting over the years.

Anyways, here’s an overview of our week.

Monday

It was a public holiday for National Truth and Reconciliation Day so both kids were home with me. Olivia and I baked muffins while Aiden napped and then we all took a trip to the park in the afternoon.

After the park trip we actually went to Eric’s new house and helped him unpack a bit! I think it was good for the kids to have some time there before going for their week, too.

Tuesday

A work and school day, so nothing exciting to report. My house cleaners came that morning so it was wonderful to have a spotless house! Though I think I’m going to try and switch them to every second week when I DON’T have the kids as with young kids the clean house lasted all of 0.02 seconds.

I snoozed my alarm that morning so ended up squeezing in a peloton workout in the evening with both kids at my feet and around me. Not ideal!

Love how nicely they make the bed!

Wednesday

Another work and school day and I went to spin class at lunch time, which was great. I don’t have any photos from the evening so it must have been a pretty normal evening with the kids, having dinner and hanging around the house.

Wednesday was one of a few evenings this week where I had to pull a second shift and after the kids went to bed I parked myself on the couch with my laptop and Gilmore Girls on in the background to get work done. I had a big presentation I was working on designing this week that I had to put extra time in on.

Thursday

I had learned my lesson on Tuesday and did not snooze my alarm this day. I got up at 5:30 and managed to get in a 30 minute peloton strength workout. Olivia did get up halfway through my workout, but luckily she’s a lot less disruptive than her little brother!

Another work and school day without anything too exciting to report. I did have to duck out of work early to take Olivia to a doctors appointment though so then after work we stopped at Eric’s to drop some things off and the kids ended up staying there for about 1.5 hours while I ran home to get some work done since I’d missed the whole afternoon of work due to the doctors appointment.

I’m really glad that so far we have managed to maintain a very amicable and flexible relationship and can do these kinds of trade offs with the kids. I hope it can continue!

After getting the kids to bed on Thursday night I was on the couch until 10 finishing up the presentation mentioned above.

Friday

Friday is supposed to be my day off work as I’ve negotiated a 4 day work week, however I had to have a 2 hour meeting Friday morning about the presentation I had been working on all week and then I did work on and off on Friday but I felt okay about it as I managed to square away A LOT of things!

Mid day I snuck out with Nia and Aiden in the stroller for a 20 minute Peleton walk/run. At the end of the run we came back through the huge field at the end of our street and Aiden had some time to do some exploring.

Friday night Olivia and I stayed up and had a movie night. We made popcorn and cuddled up on the couch to watch Elemental on Disney+. It was a cute movie!

Saturday

Saturday morning Olivia had dance class and while she was at dance class I took the dog to the dog park. Aiden was napping at home and our neighbour watched him on the monitor (we live in a duplex so share a wall so it’s almost like having someone in the same house!) after we got back from dance Olivia spent the rest of the morning playing with the boys from next door and then we all loaded up and headed to the pumpkin patch for the afternoon.

It was such a stunning day and we spent almost 2.5 hours there. There was a maze through the sunflowers, mini golf and hay rides. It was so fun!

Sunday

And that brings us to Sunday! It’s only 10:30am as I write this but as soon as I hit publish on this blog post I promised Olivia I’d play Barbies with her for awhile and then the rest of our day will just be spent puttering around the house, maybe going for a park visit and then dropping them off at their dads.

I am having mixed feelings about it as on one hand I am really feeling ready for a break but on the other hand I know I’m going to miss them a lot. I do have a 1 night, 2 day work trip Tuesday – Wednesday though and thanks to our flexible arrangement it won’t be a full 7 days before I see them again as I get them every Friday.

I’ll definitely do another Divorce Diary post next weekend to compare the week with the kids to the week without them. H

Hope everyone has a great week!

Grief & grieving

I pulled this can of sauerkraut from the depths of our fridge the other day, and immediately burst into tears. It’s one of only a few jars we have left of my grandma’s last batch. Every year she’d buy 50+ pounds of cabbage and make sauerkraut for the entire family. One year she taught me how to do it and I blogged about it here. I wish I had a photo of us together making it. I wish I had more photos. I have hundreds, but I want more.

I have been fairly lucky in my 35 years to not experience very many huge losses. I have many friends who have already experienced the loss of a parent in their 20’s or 30’s and my heart aches for them. A part of me feels like the loss of the last two years is playing catch up for how little grief I’ve had to endure thus far in life.

In March of 2022, my maternal grandpa experienced a shortage of breath followed by a whirlwind of appointments that ultimately concluded he had a malignant mass on his lung and the cancer had spread to his bones and ultimately his brain. Within 5 weeks he was gone. During this time, family relationships were strained and some ended as his children (my mother and her siblings) did not cope well with his diagnosis. He spent his last weeks in a room at my moms house and I felt lucky we got to visit him often at the end. His loss was hard and the grief from it felt overwhelming. I had a 3.5 month old baby at the time and struggled with the divide his loss had created in our family. My heart ached for my grandmother.

Fast forward 15 months and my grandmother is feeling ill and struggling to take a deep breath. A malignant mass is also discovered on her lung and after an agonizing 1.5 week wait it’s discovered that she has stage 4 lung cancer and palliative care is the road forward. She has just turned 79 years old and was taken to emergency on the eve of her birthday (August 4).

Tomorrow, or today depending on when you’re reading this post (September 26), she is being admitted to the hospital for her remaining days or weeks. It has been two months since they discovered the mass on her lung and she has been declining rapidly.

Our family is still reeling from the loss of my grandfather and then this happens. It feels brutally unfair.

My childhood was defined by my grandparents. They owned this big brown farmhouse where so many of my core memories were formed. My grandmother used to drive the school bus and on her way back from dropping kids at school she would pick my cousins and I up and take us to her house for the day where she’d play with us, bake for us and we’d get into all kinds of trouble and fun. She had a huge garden and I remember eating peas and carrots from the garden. I learned to ride a bike going down the incline from their garage. At one point my grandma built us a treehouse in the trees behind her house that even had a “jail” built into it. What I would give to have a photo of that treehouse/jail. I can picture it so vividly in my mind!

In the summer my grandparents would load us up in their motorhome and take my cousins and I camping. We’d bring our bikes and bike around the campsite, play at the playground or go fishing. A few occasions I had the privilege (and delight!) of going on summer holidays with my grandparents by myself. I don’t remember the specifics of these trips but I remember feeling so special to get this one on one time with my grandparents. I loved being with them. I felt so loved and special.

As I grew older I continued to have a special relationship with my grandmother. She sewed, knit and crocheted and always made me the most beautiful items. I have received countless hats, sweaters, home decor items and more from her over the years. As have my children. I will forever treasure a blanket she knit for me almost 10 years ago that has a place on my bed, I consider it one of my most prized possessions.

There used to be this specific smell to the items that grandma made. They just smelled like grandma’s house. Up until a month before she got sick I would pop into her home for lunch at least once or twice a month with my two kids – her great grandkids – she’d have the table laid out with food including special items she made for “the littles” (that’s what she called them). I always greeted her with a hug. These moments meant so much to me.

The grief I am currently feeling is overwhelming. I always knew the loss of my grandma would be a great one but facing it now, it feels insurmountable. Especially when I still feel so much grief and despair over the loss of my grandfather, and the rift it created in our family less than 1.5 years ago.

I don’t know how to show up for my young kids, who don’t understand what is going on. My grandma loves them so much, and they adore her, yet they will never remember her and when I confront that truth I feel devastated and overwhelmed with grief all over again.

My grandma has not passed yet, but we know it will happen soon, and I am grieving this loss while also trying to spend as much time with her as I possibly can in her last days.

I feel so very lucky to have had the incredibly close relationship with her that I’ve had. And I’m grateful for 35 years with her. At the same time, it is making this process so very painful and heavy. Of course this has been happening at the same time as Eric and I have been separating. So it’s been a very tough few months, to say the least.

I wrote this with tears streaming down my face, but it felt good to release and let this emotion out. As hard as it is to feel it all, I know this is the only way through it.

Thanks for reading ❤

Five things Friday

1. Welp, the sickness already found our household this week and Olivia only made it to 1 out of 4 days of Kindergarten. Aiden also got it and I can feel it coming for me which is why I’m currently spending nap time laying on the couch trying to not think or worry about the large to do list I had wanted to tackle today.

2. The fall colours are out in full swing here and are absolutely amazing!!! I went for a trail run with Nia the other night and had to stop several times to take in my surroundings it was so beautiful. I do love fall so much and I think part of the beauty of it is that it is such a short and fleeting season.

3. I haven’t talked about the separation much, because it’s been hard to find the words and also we’ve been living in the same house. One week from today Eric will move out to his new house and I’m sure it will get very real then and I’ll likely (hopefully?) be able to talk about it more to process it all. In the meantime I had to screenshot this post on Instagram because it really spoke to me.

4. I am currently reading the book September by Rosamunde Pilcher and oh it’s so cozy and lovely for this time of year! Over the last few years I’ve really been drawn to reading more seasonally, especially in the fall and winter, and I’m fully enjoying this one. This author does an amazing job of describing and creating a sense of place in the most cozy way.

5. I don’t know that I have a fifth thing to say. I honestly feel a bit like I’m limping along right now and also very burnt out. Life (both personally and on a global scale) feels very very heavy. I hope the load lightens soon ❤️

Are the fall colours popping where you are?

Do you read seasonally?

Weekend Recap

It was a beautiful and busy weekend around here!

I am now up to working 4 days per week (M-Th) so my weekend goes Friday to Sunday.

Friday

After a VERY slow phase in schedule Olivia finally had a full day of school on Friday! After dropping her off and putting Aiden down for his nap I ended up having to do some work stuff, but after Aiden woke up I headed out for a hike with my neighbour and good friend.

The colours were stunning!

We hiked for an hour and Aiden did really well in the backpack!

The rest of the day was pretty low key, just puttering around the house and then going to bed when the kids went to bed.

Saturday

Saturday my neighbour and I planned to go to the lake with the kids! There is this adorable little lake about an hour out of town that we love to go to. I couldn’t believe we got a lake day in mid September. That’s basically unheard of up north! It was a gorgeous day and other than the yellow leaves and fall colours it totally felt like summer still.

We stayed there until 5pm! It was so nice to spend so much time outside. The kids crashed hard when they got home and I was in bed shortly after them.

Sunday

Eric took Olivia hunting with his family and her cousins so it was just Aiden and I for most of the day. I took him to a drop-in gymnastics class and he absolutely loved it! I was feeling kind of bad about not having him in any sort of activities so I think I’ll try to do this Sunday drop in class whenever we can as he did seem to really enjoy it and it was a good way to get his energy out!

Other than that I spent quite a bit of time this weekend working on a presentation for work and also puttering around the house and yard with my headphones in and listening to an audiobook. I feel like I’m perpetually tidying and cleaning up with kids and I like to use my weekends to get laundry done and bigger tasks like taking all the covers off the couch cushions and washing them (something I did yesterday).

Now this evening I am taking a shift staying overnight at my grandma’s. I do this 1-2 times per week as since she got sick with cancer she needs someone to stay with her and wake up to give her her pain medication in the night.

How was your weekend?

Birthday Recap

Yesterday I turned 35. It was a great day!

I intentionally set my alarm for 6am as I wanted to wake up before my kids and do some journaling and a birthday meditation, which was such a wonderful way to start my day. After that no sooner had I poured my first cup of coffee then the little man was up. He’s always an early riser and usually up between 6:15-6:45 every day.

I brought him downstairs and we enjoyed some wonderful snuggles on the couch while watching Ms. Rachel. Aiden is such a busy little guy I don’t feel like we really get much snuggle time, especially since we stopped breastfeeding a month ago, but yesterday morning he totally filled up my snuggle bucket and it was the best!

When Olivia came down I also did some snuggling with her, which isn’t unusual as she’s a very huggy and snuggly kid. Then I was just about to make the kids breakfast when Eric came up from downstairs and suggested we all go out for breakfast for my birthday. So we did! I was really happy he suggested it and honestly that is exactly the kind of coparenting relationship I would like to strive for as we are still a family and I want our kids to be able to see us still being kind and cordial to each other and spending time together with them.

After breakfast I went and got my free Starbucks birthday drink (a half sweet PSL) and popped into the Farmer’s Market and bought myself flowers and sourdough bread.

Then it was time for my spin party!! Our local spin studio, which is one of my favourite places to workout, offers private events and so I organized a private ride for my birthday. I had 8 friends come and after we were able to hang out in the studio for awhile and enjoy mimosas and homemade donuts 😋

Don’t mind how sweaty everyone is after a 40 min spin class! Ha!

After spin, my friend Steph wanted to take me for lunch so we spontaneously went out for lunch just the two of us, which was so fun.

The afternoon was spent in the backyard. We’re having a very warm September and it was around 24 C / 75 F yesterday, but felt even hotter in the sun.

In the evening my mom and Caitlin came over for pizza and they brought an ice cream cake. And then my mom bathed my kids and got them ready for bed. The best gift!

After Aiden went to bed, Olivia and I had a movie night and our best next door neighbour friends joined us for the first hour. In October 2020 a couple moved in next door with twin boys who were only 10ish weeks younger than Olivia so these kids have been playing together very steadily for 2 years. In a lot of ways they feel like family! Their mom is also now one of my closest friends.

While the kids watched the movie I sat beside them enjoying a glass of wine while watching the sun set out the window.

After the boys went home, Olivia and I finished the movie. It was the live action Little Mermaid, which I had really been wanting to see so it was fun to watch it with Olivia.

I had a lot of people checking in on me on my birthday yesterday because of everything happening in my life right now, but truthfully it was such a good birthday. I felt so positive and hopeful the entire day and very much at peace with this new and unexpected direction my life is taking. I just know that everything happening in my life right now, as difficult as it is, is happening for a reason and I have this deep knowing that everything is going to be okay 🥰🙏🏻

Five on Friday

I mean it is 9:16pm on Friday night, so technically still Friday… right?

1. Olivia and I had a fun little afternoon where we got her haircut for school next week (only her second haircut ever!) and then did some back to school shopping including picking out her first day of school outfit. Her first official day of school will be next Wednesday the 13th. The hairdresser was really fun and ended up doing Olivia’s hair in these adorable “space buns” and spraying temporary colour in them. Olivia was SO excited.

2. On the note of school, I can’t tell you how good I feel about delaying Olivia’s start to school! In BC, the cut off to start Kindergarten is turning 5 by December 31 and Olivia’s birthday is November 24. It was a really tough decision to make to delay her start as it’s not common around here to do that. However, it was SO the right decision and Olivia is SO ready for K this year. I’m so excited for her!

3. Tomorrow is my 35th birthday! I can’t believe I’m officially in my mid 30’s. Man has a lot ever changed in my life over the last 10 years. Makes me wonder what’s in store for the next 10. Even though the last month or so has been pretty heart wrenching and awful, I am feeling hopeful about what’s ahead and for the year to come.

4. I’m currently listening to Fourth Wing on audio and I think these fantasy, YA style books just might be my guilty pleasure on audio. They are so fun and enjoyable to listen to and make any annoying house task fly by. They are also just steamy enough to be fun but not so steamy it’s awkward to listen to it. I’m a fan.

5. I actually wore jeans instead of leggings for an in person meeting the other day so here is a random mirror selfie for you. If you dig way into the archives of my blog you’d find that I often used to post OOTD (outfit of the day) pictures. Now with full time working from home I pretty much live in leggings and cardigans.

What kinds of clothes do you tend to wear to work?

What are you currently reading?